My husband and I attended a beautiful service for a friend’s dad who died a couple of weeks ago. Seeing his wife of 50+ years looking so broken, I told my husband, “You’d better outlive me you son of a b@#$%!” Even in middle age, I shudder at the thought of being alone. Then, a [...]
Continue reading 'Men Die First' »
All you need to remind you that you’re not cool anymore is a teenager. Doesn’t even have to be yours. In one quick eye roll, you’re put in your place. I won’t be one of those whiny “when-did-this-happen-to-mes.” I just need to accept it. I am not cool. The not cool “anymore” is my insinuation [...]
Continue reading 'Not Cool' »
In an after-Christmas stupor I picked up a marked-down amaryllis bulb at Target. This is the kind of bulb that comes with its own pot and dirt. My success in gardening has always mirrored my success in the kitchen, read: nil. But for a few bucks, I figured there was not much to lose. Well, [...]
Continue reading 'My NC-17 Plant' »
At first blush, the recession didn’t seem to affect me at all. I think the first time I took note of it was when my mum pointed out that ice cream containers were shrinking. She complained of paying the same price for less ice cream. I hadn’t noticed. And of course the media would say [...]
Continue reading 'How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Recession' »
The holiday television slump is rapidly coming to an end. Hello Project Runway, American Idol, and Men of a Certain Age! And even if you hate award shows (no reason why you shouldn’t) I beseech you to tune in to The Golden Globe Awards for a few minutes this Sunday, because it will likely be [...]
Continue reading 'Editors Are the New Dodos' »
Why did I not see that headline with regard to the Tiger Woods scandal? It was SO easy. It seems like every day we wake to hear about a new Tiger Woods mistress. These girls could already have their own calendar, with several months to spare. Tiger passed “indiscretion” and “transgression” several ladies ago. Still, [...]
Continue reading 'Twelve Days of Mistress' »
I hate seeing men in makeup. It has nothing to do with homophobia, or 80s phobia–I’m just creeped out by them. It began when I first saw the group KISS, with that horrific makeup and that tongue. I could only listen to their music, not look at the album covers. Then came that creepy Tim [...]
Continue reading 'Freaks and Gleeks' »
It’s been a long, tedious week. Have to keep asking myself if this is it…the last nice day. Should I clean out my car for the last time before winter? Should I bring in the lawn furniture? Can I live in denial and pretend winter won’t be happening at all? Attempts at self-consolation fail. Ooh, [...]
Continue reading 'Screen Time' »
So a few years back, McCormick, the people who make spices, put a notice in the Sunday paper about how to tell how old your spices were. Apparently I wasn’t the only one still harboring spices she got at her wedding shower 20 years ago.
I don’t know why they didn’t put dates on the bottles, [...]
Continue reading 'Old Spice' »
I kind of glossed over the death of Michael Jackson in my last entry, but that’s because it’s been covered…well…to death. Michael Jackson’s music was my generation’s soundtrack, but let’s face it, the guy went a little bonkers. Though I’m sure his celebrity childhood and his “disciplinarian” father changed his trajectory for the worse, I, [...]
Continue reading 'Nobody Puts John Hughes in a Corner' »
