Men Die First

My husband and I attended a beautiful service for a friend’s dad who died a couple of weeks ago. Seeing his wife of 50+ years looking so broken, I told my husband, “You’d better outlive me you son of a b@#$%!” Even in middle age, I shudder at the thought of being alone. Then, a real curiosity popped up last week. It was announced that Al Gore and his wife Tipper, both in their 60s, are separating after 40 years of marriage. This news provoked the following thoughts for me:

1) Why get divorced now? You’re old.

2) Surely someone must be interested in someone else. Why else would you separate after all that time? I mean, you’re old.

I suppose it depends on how pragmatic your outlook is.  To me, it does seem kind of silly after spending all of that time together building a life to go your own ways. But it also begs the question, if you’re not happy, should you stick around until you die…unhappy? Or maybe it’s just my own pessimism at work. I mean, when I see the deterioration that’s happening to my body at my age, I try to think about dating at their age and, well, it’s not a pretty thought. Of course maybe that’s not even a consideration.  Some people are content to live on their own–no battles over the TV remote, no thermostat wars.

Newsweek calls this a “silver divorce,” and claims they are not rare, especially for baby boomers, however, it’s also true that the longer you’re married the less likely you are to divorce. Their split made me think of a line from a recent 30 Rock episode, in which Liz is trying to mentally sort out a similar issue. Her take:

“Why would a lady get divorced at 50?  Stick it out.  Men die first.  Then you have two wonderful years.  Then you die.” Now that’s practical thinking!

I still think a reason will materialize. Maybe Al met someone at a global warming summit or Tipper fell for a rapper who toned down his lyrics.  More pessimism on my part.  But if they’re optimistic, and figure they’ll live at least a couple more decades, well, that’s plenty of time to create a new life for themselves.  Bonne chance, Gores.